Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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