i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
