I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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