so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm really busy with my period
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