Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
