there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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