Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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