I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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