So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
