Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This baby is an asshole
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
