yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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