Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
