Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
