I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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