they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Panties = found
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
