you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
