i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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