she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
