his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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