SEEEEXXX PLEASE
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
