I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
