I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
