He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
