just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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