i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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