got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
