I faked an abortion last night.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
