why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
