so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
