I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
