You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
