Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They took my balls.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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