3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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