Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize