And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
