they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
