Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
