Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
