Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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