well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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