I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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