Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
