Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
