Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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