why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
