Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
