Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
