before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
