Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
