Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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