Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize