opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
