you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
should my penis look like a turkey
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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