one two three fourrrrnication!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize