I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I FOUND THE LEGS
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
