Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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