don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
