It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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