My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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