How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
