It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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