He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
