We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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