New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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