We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
a search helicopter?!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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