I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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