the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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